Lanea's Wall

Boy you’re a wildfire, rippin fast.

Ain’t no one here to stop you now.

Boy you’re like a wildfire,

fiery steel masked.

Love was cruel today.

Had me backed against the wall, pushing.

So I pushed back. 

In fact I threw the ball back.

In fact, I threw a punch back. 

I got a kick in return, right to the chest.

I can’t breathe right, can’t think straight, can’t believe you threw it way lower than me.

So I tried walking away but the path curved without telling me.

Before long I was lost in an unknown direction, stumbling and uncertain. 

Then light filtered in and you opened your arms, ‘rescuing’ me; made it seem like I needed you. But I’m pretty sure I would have found the light anyway.

I sure hope so because I got lost again, and now I don’t know how to make the light shine me my future. 

I want to search for it but being alone is scary.

And I’m damn well scared.

I see your ignorance, plain as day.

Your logic has taken flight; emotion stirring you up.

You want to hide, need to hide, need to figure life out.

Need to breathe, need to see, need to feel. Nothing.

Can I follow you there?

To the mountains we go; I’m half a step behind and you’re so angry you don’t even see me.

I’m in your shadow, breathing fuel to your fire.

Higher and higher we go, ‘round in circles that aren’t even round.

We go higher than we should and soon we can’t breathe at all.

So down we tumble, into trees and rivers and birds’ nests and all.

Past floating dreams and wishing fountains.

Down we tumble, right to the ground where we lay panting, stars surrounding us and it takes a minute for us to see clearly.

And although we’ll never see clearly we breathe life into one another.

We’ll have more days on this strange planet, more nights to spend in love.

And forever I’ll follow you, no matter the season.

Freedom so close I can taste it.

I can feel it in the wind; smell it in the pine.

It’s all around me, comforting me by whispering softly.

I see light streaming down as if from heaven.

See the world as it is, natural. 

Forest: green.

Mountain: strong.

Sky: protecting.

This is my world.

What’s yours?

I have many faces.

Many hearts, many desires.

So many paths I could choose, so many I pass up.

There is so much opportunity, but is there too much?

How do I know if I’ve made the right choice, the right decision, the right destiny to follow?

How do I know if I’m on the right path if everything’s here but my heart?

I’m such a flake; here one minute, miles away the next.

I’m such a gemini, so two-faced and whimsical and never knows what she wants or what she needs. Never knows if the things she wants are what she needs and the things she needs are just what she wants.

I’m not fully in my mind, not fully out of it either.

Why does Depression tag along like a dog?

Why does he have my name at his lips.

Why does Joy show up a moment  too late, or moment too soon, and no gets it, no one gets when they should be happy with me or sad with me.

No one gets me, not even I.

Perhaps I ‘get’ myself the least.

Sure, yeah, I’ve thought about ending it, but Hope is a better tag along than Depression himself. Hope is a cling-on, a part of me.

Hope is what keeps me going everyday; for what I do not know.

All I know is that I’m hopeful for a better life, a joyous life, a passionate and fun and caring and loving life.

Just when I think I’ve found that life it likes to disappear, like a class-A act.

How is that fair? It’s not. ‘Life isn’t fair’ is what my dad always told me. Funny how he’s turned out to be right more than once.

Funny how I was so wrong.

Funny how I’m sitting here and this isn’t what my life was ever supposed to be.

Funny how I’m sitting here and it’s not right but I refuse to move.

I refuse to move. 

I refuse to move.

Funny how love makes us the best and the worst all at the same time.

I wish for a stroll past the gate.

If only to find secrets that need finding.

If only to save a heart, save a mind.

I’d like to see whose smiles those are, the ones floating above the barrier.

They long to see the world, they long to find a home.

I’d scoop them up but they don’t belong with me.

They need a face that can stretch farther.

They need a face that can stretch as far as the world.

I’d like to lend a melody, lend some light.

I’d like to stretch the world, stretch it farther than just me.

Just me.

Forever reaching for the sky.

Reaching for something to take me off the ground.

Pull me up- I have a yearning for the bark and the moss.

Take me in as your own, Mother,

Nature can have its way with me.

Reach for me, let me take your hand.

Twist your leafy branches ‘round mine.

Let me rest a little, close my eyes and dream of the sky.

I’ll dream up more greens and browns for you.

I’ll think up new twists in the forest for a passing traveler.

Pull up, Mother, let me closer to the sky.

I’ll bring down some mists to nourish you, some stars to light you up.

We can dance in the moonlight then, with nothing separating us but a warm breeze in the cool of night.

And we can have it all together, you and I.

Take my hand in yours, and we can have it all.

This man told me all about the dragon.

He said he saw it fly before, back when they were building it. 

It flew away for four hours; when it came back there was a finger missing from each hand.

He said that the dragon saved his grandmother from nearly walking off a cliff.

He knows because she told him at the corner of Johnson and she never goes there, but she went there to tell him because no one else would have believed her.

He said even if he didn’t watch it fly away, he’d have believed her.

Funny how two moments in different times and places can be shared by two so close.

He said he was hoping I could spare some change.

I wanted to because he shared such a nice story with me but I had no money.

I wanted to leave him my drink but he said he was done with drinking.

I wasn’t so sure but I smiled and nodded.

So I took his picture, right before someone came and sat down beside him to sell some yellow powder.

Maybe he was done with drinking after all.

All I know is that more people should share their stories.

I got invited to go to China today.

I can’t imagine what it would be like.

This alley reminds me of there; funny, since I’ve never been.

I wanted to walk down this alley. Always have it feels like.

So why did I choose to stay behind the door?

It was open you know.

No one was there. Just me.

I had a chance and decided to photograph the moment instead.

I don’t like the thought of regretful decisions.

Yet I make them nearly everyday.

Sometimes, if I’ve had an orange for the day, I’ll make the right choice.

Then it feels like I’ve made it to the end of the alley; even beyond.

Funny, since I’ve never been.

To what end can we go?

We dreamed up a perfect world, and at your feet is the path that will lead us there.

At your feet are endless possibilities.

We had this list, you and I, to explore the world, adventure into the unknown, be in love. 

We’ve done all of that yet it seems like we’ve done nothing. 

I think though, that from here we can still add to our list.

We had plans to get a boat so let’s do that. 

Let’s fight off storms together, let’s grab hold of lightning and push it back into the skies.

We can do anything, you and I, so let’s do that.

designcloud:

“AIR from New York City” . 

The “AIR from New York City” is a middle-sized can filled with the spirit of the city, a piece of world heritage. The product is 100% bio. Fresh air from New York relieves stress, cures homesickness
and helps fighting nostalgia. It is made by careful hands in the heart of the city. All descriptions on the can are in English. Buy here.

We are a colorful race; proud and happy to rule the skies.

We dance often enough to send thunderous showers in all directions.

We dance often enough to soothe the macabre tornado.

We twirl and swirl and dip and soar.

We can mimic a hummingbird for your sole delight.

We go where we please; today we please India.

Today we please the people by bringing light to their synagogues. 

We’ll bring airy solace; soft lullabies; dreamy bliss.

And then we’ll leave it at that. 

Not everything is what it seems.

It was a calm day.

Breeze slowly rolling, sky turning lazy blues.

The clouds wisped in, faint, sweeping.

An empty lot stands with empty seashells, empty bottles, empty dreams.

My dreams would like to fill it up though. 

We could sit drinking lemonade underneath the tree.

We could play cards and laugh and sing and give out free smiles to any passing by.

We could treasure this place, make it our own. We could share this place, bring others into our arms and dance ‘neath the sun’s rays.

But for today it’s empty of has-been’s and will-be’s.

It’s full, too, of past memories.

For today it is.

One day so close; entwined with one another; we are one another.

One day we knew every crevice, every space and every wavelength that had passed.

One day we were happy, joyous with the craving that pulled us so.

One day we had enough. One day we ran apart. 

One day we looked away, slept away, stayed away.

One day we looked back, saw the other and came together again.

One day we carefully folded ourselves around the other, with the other.

One day we were back where we started. 

One day we started to grow. 

One day.